Social media. I have a love/hate relationship with social media. On one hand I love it because it is a great tool to spread goodness and the love of Jesus. On the other hand, which in my case tends to prevail, it can be a comparison trap, a time suck, and quite frankly can leave me feeling melancholy. Over time, I’ve realized that social media is hard for me because in a weird way, it becomes an “affirmation” addiction. You see, I’ve always struggled with wanting to be affirmed, wanting to be “known,” wanting to be seen and I guess if you boiled it all down, “worthiness.”
Unfortunately social media is a great tool to “feed” unworthiness and all my other struggles. Recognizing my weaknesses with social media, I’ve taken several “time-outs.” My last time out was for about nine months and I was really loving it. You can imagine my surprise when God asked me to start a blog and to post on social media. It was soooo scary for me to open that door again because I knew that it was a major weakness and having the door closed was so freeing.
When I started back up, I felt like God put guidelines in place for me to follow. The biggest being, I was to post my blog link and then NEVER look at it again. No checking how many people viewed it. No checking who and how many people “liked” or “loved” it. No checking how many people shared it. Nothing. Post it and forget it. This is a great boundary, but holy cow is it hard!
I did great for the first few posts. Post it and forget it. I even contacted a friend and asked her to check every once in a while to make sure I wasn’t missing anything. And then one day I allowed myself to check my news feed…but only for a couple postings. The next day I checked my news feed…for only five minutes. The next day I checked my news feed…but only for a half hour and before I knew it I was knee deep in hours on my news feed and regularly checking on my posts…who liked them, who loved them, how many people viewed. Oh, and by the way, I made sure no one was around when I was checking.
I was in my prayer time and the Lord TOTALLY convicted me that I needed to confess this “addiction” that I was using to feed my insecurities. My constant checking was like a magnetic pull that I couldn’t break UNTIL I confessed it. God broke it then and there. God reminded me that He had set boundaries around my social media interactions…duh…how did I forget that? How did I get to that point? I had known my weaknesses and here I was.
I can only describe it like this…those of you who are dog owners will get this. It’s like training your dog to stay off the living room carpet. Your dog knows to stay off the carpet, but one day you find him with one little paw over the line on the carpet. The next day, both paws are just a little over the line. The next day, half his body is crossing the line and before you know it he is curled up on your sofa. THIS WAS ME!!! Little by little I was crossing the line and then somehow I ended up on the sofa!!!
The reason this turned out to be such a big deal for me is that God wants to be the one to affirm me. He wants to let me know that I am seen. He wants to tell me that I am known. He wants to lead me where I am supposed to go. BUT, by crossing the boundary that He gave me, I was allowing social media to do all those things for me. I was letting social media “feed” me instead of allowing Jesus to “feed” me. After all, Jesus is the Bread of Life and the Living Water!!
What idol are you allowing to “feed” you? An idol is defined as, “An image of representation of a god used as an object of worship.” Your job, your success, your looks, your car, your relationships, your stuff, or people’s affirmations can all fill places in your heart that your Heavenly Father wants to fill! Repent, confess and be free of those false securities. Freedom is beautiful!
So…don’t waste your time “liking” this post…I won’t see it anyways!! ;)